This is a message about leadership for lone wolves (like me): no matter how much you enjoy being on your own, if you’re ambitious enough, you’ll eventually need to learn to work with people. While that requires a whole different skill set, mindset, and, let’s be honest, a specific kind of headache, the deeper issue is often a lack of a mental prototype. What does it actually mean to lead instead of going solo?
Many of us have had negative experiences with teamwork or have looked up to the wrong role models, which only makes it harder to imagine leadership done right. And that is because many people presume that leadership is primarily a matter of being right or superior: having the stronger argument, the better evidence, the clearer vision, the greater intelligence. But in reality, that mindset will only push people away. What you need instead is to let people join you out of genuine attraction, not manipulation.
“Fight for the things that you care about. But do it in a way that will lead others to join you.”
— Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Collaboration Matters (Even for Lone Wolves)
Whether you’re a team player or a lone wolf, success almost always involves some form of collaboration. It has less to do with what your goal is and more to do with how you build around it. The way you talk about an idea may influence people’s decision to join you more than what you say. Even when you’re speaking to the most concrete thinkers, there is still a right way and a right time for everything.
That can sound unsettling to lone wolves like me. I feel it. Why would I spend time communicating with others when I can do everything myself? But over the years, I’ve realized how much faster my life could have moved forward if I had learned to delegate. Strategically, of course, never at the cost of my autonomy or freedom.
For example, you can delegate tasks that are too time-consuming or labor-intensive to others so you can focus on what you’re actually good at (and love doing). If you’re an abstract-by-default thinker who thrives on big ideas and concepts, outsourcing repetitive administrative work to someone who excels at precision will only increase your sense of control and empowerment. With thoughtful budgeting and planning, your overall results will soar.
Clarity First, Let Others Follow
It doesn’t matter that you dislike the art of persuasion. Even the most neutral form of persuasion involves some degree of emotional pull, pressure, or, as they say in marketing, “stir.” But like attracts like, the best partners usually come from genuine, mutual appreciation.
Don’t overthink it. What you need is actually very simple: clarity about your core values, non-negotiables, principles, and goals. Do the inner work first (which, admittedly, is what we do best). In creative fields, a thoughtful system, a stable and independent sense of self, and honest communication are good enough to start.
When your foundation is solid, that’s essentially all you need. You can still adapt your approach without drifting away from your purpose. People can tell the difference; they follow those who know where they’re going. Clear, consistent conviction is what makes collaboration smooth. Authenticity builds rapport and, in most cases, leads to better outcomes. And if there is incompatibility, stand your own ground and move on.
Final Thought
This is written by someone who literally built a solo publication and other creative outlets alone. I love being alone, staying within a tightly knit circle, and doing most things by myself. It’s not that I’m antisocial; I’ve just seen the worst of what people can do when interests collide. Still, I know that at some point in my life, I’ll have to learn how to work with others. Perhaps what freedom really means is the independence to choose, not reject it all. (Related: Irony of Humanaity: The Worst and the Best of People)
*What is Daily Insight? An ongoing series of quick, bite-sized brain snacks. Every week, there are three research-based factual reports and three research-informed reflective notes.
