There is an intoxicating rush that comes with announcing a massive new life goal. Whether you tell your best friend you’re writing a novel, launching a business, or training for a marathon, their immediate reaction is almost always enthusiastic applause. “That’s amazing! You’re going to do great!” they say. You walk away feeling inspired and validated.
But the problem is, you have not started working yet. And according to behavioral psychology, sharing a big goal can make people significantly less likely to accomplish it.
Why Is This Happening?
This phenomenon is rooted in social reality. When you share an ambitious goal with friends and receive their praise, the brain experiences an instant dopamine hit. Crucially, because the brain struggles to differentiate between the praise received for completing a task and the praise received for promising to do it, you basically reward yourself with a premature sense of accomplishment. This is not to say that it is an illusion. The feeling is real, but based on interpretation, not the right condition.
Another challenge is that the psychological tension needed to actually pursue the goal gets relieved too early. Goals and ambitions only matter when they are translated into action. But to take action, we need a steady, sustained source of motivation.
Therefore, when you keep a goal completely to yourself, that unmet desire creates an ache. In order to soothe it, you need to use action to validate yourself. Sit down, do the hard labor, and achieve the objective. That is why many have shared the experience that to achieve a big goal, keep your mouth shut until the work speaks for itself.
How about the Opposite?
Some individuals find the exact opposite: they feel publicizing their ambitions is a very effective way to get them done.
There are many reasons for this, but the foremost is a different underlying motivation. For these people, the driving force is not premature praise, but rather the terrifying threat of public embarrassment. Because they have been broadcasting their goals, failing to accomplish them feels like a direct threat to their ego. They may care deeply about maintaining their image and vanity, wanting to appear capable in the eyes of their peers. As a result, the fear of being seen as a quitter outweighs the friction of doing the actual work.
For this subset, accountability mirrors become a powerful motivator. They are not so much running toward a goal as they are running to avoid the perceived public shame of failure. (Related: How Are Self-Esteem and Ego Related in One Person?)
*What is Daily Insight? An ongoing series of quick, bite-sized brain snacks. Every week, there are three research-based factual reports and three research-informed reflective notes.
